Pivot. I’m enjoying the last years of my life. Being old isn’t as bad as I feared. In fact, in many ways I’m happier now than in some of my earlier phases.
I don’t know how long this stage will last, a day or twenty years. I know I’m not going to die young but whether I die merely old or ancient is to be determined. I do know the end is not too far off, a decade or so at best. Time to get ready for my exit.
Here will be a series of my random thoughts about this winter season of my life and messages which may be helpful to my loved ones when I go. I’m going to publish while this is still a work in progress. Probably a short entry each day or each day I get to it, which will certainly not be every day. I won’t hesitate to delete a post if it doesn’t resonate on subsequent views.
My sweet daughter, grandson, and son-in-law, keep in mind that whenever I go, it is not “too soon.” That boat sailed years ago. When I go, it will be the right time. It is far better to leave this party of life while we are still enjoying it rather than stay too long in a state of infirmity.
I’m tempted to allow comments on this post because I’m curious what you all think and what you want for yourselves. However, the troll factor and the fact that my website stats show a few views from other countries, such as China and India, suggest the bots and scammers might be looking for entry. Won’t expose myself or friends to whatever cyber mischief interlopers may have in mind. I would love, however, to hear your thoughts via an email directly to me or on my personal Facebook page. Again, I don’t know who reads my blogs unless you expressly tell me, but the very general location of readers, the United States for instance, is reported to me in my site account.
Practical matters:
Headshots for Heaven: Since my middle years I’ve read the obituaries in both the Seattle Times and the Everett Herald to see if anyone I knew died. The older I’ve gotten, the more often I see a familiar name among the departed. I’ve noticed that obituary photos are often of poor quality, unflattering, or depict the deceased as a youth looking nothing like the adult I knew. So, I’m going through photos of myself to select a few I won’t be embarrased by an unflattering picture as I’m trying to make my way through pergatory. I will include some young me’s and some old me’s so people who knew me only in limited periods of my life will realize a person they once knew graduated from this earthly school of hard knocks.
Burn or bury?
Neither option is especially inviting when I imagine being my future corpse. Those old horror movies in which the seeming dead are buried, only to wake up after they are six feet under, futily screaming and clawing at their coffin, put me off burial. On the other hand, burning of any degree is super painful in life (I’m a crybaby at the slightest singe as I pull sheets and pans out of a hot oven) so what if a few brain cells remain active when they pop me in the flames? Ouch! In the end, I have to go with cremation. Burning is much cheaper and you, in ash form, can stay with family, if they’ll have you. My mother is resting in a beautiful box on our mantle, along with our beautiful Sasha in her own box, and small ashen portions of my father and one of my brothers. If and when noone wants my remains in their home, I’m okay with being released to the wind in some beautiful location (please don’t do the out at sea thing – I’m not a water soul.)
Observations 